Shades of Blue
by Serpentina Lynn
Summary: This is the story of why Mystique gave up her son, Nightcrawler, and her attempts at reconnecting with him.
1. Chapter 1

**The story from the X-Men animated series of Mystique dropping her newborn into a river never made much sense to me. It certainly doesn't fit with Jennifer Lawrence's interpretation of the character. This is what I think happened.**

 **Thanks once again to Spitfire47 for being my beta.**

 **-S.L.**

* * *

Though it broke her heart, Raven knew what she must do for her newborn son. Her life was much too dangerous for him. She had heard of an orphanage that catered especially to children like hers. Young unwanted mutants would be loved and kept safe in a place with others like them. This would be a good place for him.

Raven worried from the moment she first learned she was pregnant that the child growing inside would inherit her unique complexion. Those fears were confirmed when the shocked sonogram technician pointed out what she called a vestigial tail. She said it was nothing to worry about. The child would be perfectly normal after the minor deformity was corrected.

Raven knew the truth, though. This was no minor deformity. Her child would never be what the world deemed normal. Even if by some chance it didn't end up with her shimmering blue skin, it would likely have its father's deep red coloring. It already had his tail.

That was the first and last prenatal exam Raven went to. She didn't even stay long enough to find out her baby's sex. For the next seven months she used her shapeshifting abilities to disguise not only her blue skin, but also her growing belly. She prayed to whatever gods would listen that nothing would happen to her or the baby to put them back into the tender care of Western medicine.

When Raven went into labor, it was the middle of the night. She was staying at a tiny hostel, as far away from civilization as she could possibly get, away from the prying eyes of the public. The innkeeper was a short, portly old woman named Anya. She hadn't realized Raven was even pregnant until she heard the cries of pain. The old woman tried to take Raven to the hospital or at least let the local doctor make a house call.

Raven barricaded herself in her room. She refused to let the doctor examine her when he pounded at the door and threatened to run if the he didn't leave. Labor pains or not, she was well enough to get at least a few miles away if she needed to.

At first, Raven insisted she was fine, that she could deliver the baby by herself. After a few hours, however, the physical and emotional stress wore her down. She allowed Anya to assist her.

The shapeshifter managed to keep her peach-skinned disguise until almost the end. A few times she lost her concentration, she felt her eyes shift from their brown disguise to their natural glowing yellow. Luckily, Anya seemed not to notice or else ignored it as her own imagination.

"You're doing great, Raven," the old woman assured Raven as the baby's tiny head was crowning. "One more big push then it's over."

Raven closed her eyes and gave one final push. With a loud scream, she pushed the baby out. She heard the old woman gasp and shuffle away. Raven opened her eyes, dread in her heart that the baby was stillborn. When she looked down she saw with the start that not only was the baby's skin blue, but that hers was as well. Some time during that last push she had slipped her cover.

"Demon! You're a demon!" Anya ran from the room shouting. A minute later Raven could hear a car speeding off.

"No," Raven said weakly. She cursed the woman.

If only her disguise had held for a few more seconds. It was no matter, though. She couldn't hide the baby's blue skin - a blue so dark it was nearly black - or the spade-tipped tail wrapping itself around the child.

She scooped the squirming newborn up and held it to her breast. Raven could see clearly now that it was a boy. His cry was a weak little hiccup at first, then morphed into a soft warble.

"I hope you're nothing like your father," Raven whispered to her son. "I'm sorry you've had such a rough start, but we're going to have to move soon. It isn't safe for us here anymore."

Raven tore a thin strip of cloth from the ruined sheets to tie off the umbilical cord before cutting it. She left the afterbirth on the bed.

 _Let the old witch take care of it,_ she thought bitterly _._

With the baby wrapped in a fresh towel, Raven cleaned herself up as best she could. Pain swelled in her legs and abdomen, but she managed to ignore it the best she could.

She wished she had thought to get diapers and baby clothes before now. Even if it were only a few, it would've done wonders for her now. Raven had tried to use a hand towel as a diaper, but with no pins to keep it in place it would do only so much good.

"We'll have to get some on the run," she told the now sleeping baby. "Then we'll find some place safe for you."


	2. Chapter 2

When the taxi dropped Raven and her still-unnamed son off at the orphanage, her heart sank.

The house was in shambles. One window was boarded up and another had plastic over it. The paint was peeling horribly, revealing blotchy stains, the porch was slanted and there was what looked like fire damage to part of the attached garage. A large branch had split from the oak tree in the yard and was lying on the scorched grass.

Raven's pulse started pounding with dread as she looked on at the sight. If she couldn't leave her child in this place, where in the world would take him? He couldn't be left safely at a hospital or fire department, like the average unwanted baby.

Her heart broke a little more at the thought of the word "unwanted." The little bundle in her arms was anything but. From the moment she thought she might be pregnant she had loved him. She wished she could keep him forever, know him and watch him grow, but that was impossible. Not with the war coming. Normal people would never accept his uniqueness.

She could hide her own blue skin, her unnaturally glowing eyes, but her son couldn't hide his. Even if he developed his own shapeshifting abilities, it had taken her years of practice before she was able to keep her form steady and she still slipped from time to time. Even now, as Raven looked down at the baby, she felt her eyes shift from brown to yellow. He watched her with his own tiny unfocused yellow eyes. She had never expected to see her own eyes duplicated so perfectly in another human being. She could never leave him to be forgotten.

With a heavy sigh, Raven started back to the waiting taxi, when the front door creaked open. Her heart swelled as she saw the parade of laughing children pour out. Most of them looked normal enough, but a few had obvious physical mutations. There was a boy with grey, armoured skin, and a girl with four arms. Her son's blue skin and prehensile tail would fit right in.

An imposing woman stood in the crooked doorway with a toddler on her hip. As she came into the afternoon sun, Raven could see her mutations more clearly. The woman's otherwise pleasant face had the appearance of being melted and instead of regular arms, she had a pair of tentacles. One snaked around and under the child she was holding. She whispered something to the toddler. He giggled and squirmed to the ground to join the group of children playing tag.

"Raven?" The woman held her tentacles out to Raven, her melted face smiling. "I'm Erlinda."

Raven allowed herself to be wrapped in the woman's warm hug. After a few beats, Erlinda turned her attention to Raven's child.

"This is your little angel?" Erlinda asked. She reached for the bundle.

Raven nodded and tentatively uncovered her son's face. The caregiver gasped and Raven drew back from her, fearful of what the woman would do.

"He's beautiful," Erlinda gushed as she lightly touched the blanket with the tip of her right appendage. "Can I hold him, dear?"

Raven was reluctant. In the week since giving birth, she had barely set her son down let alone allow a stranger to touch him.

"I won't drop him," Erlinda promised. "I have an excellent grip."

After a moment of hesitation, Raven handed her son, blanket and all, to the older woman. The baby hiccoughed and cooed at Erlinda.

Behind them, a little boy sneezed. A fireball shot out of his mouth and engulfed the fallen tree branch in flames. Raven was stunned, but a second later a teenage boy opened his mouth and a jet of water poured out, dousing the fire.

Suddenly the dilapidated house looks very different to Raven's eyes. What she had previously thought were signs of neglect, were in actuality evidence of the children using their mutant powers.

Her resolve strengthened, Raven decided this was the perfect place for her son after all. She bent to kiss his tiny blue face and told him she loved him. As she pulled away, she had to uncurl his pointed tail from her wrist.

"You'll take care of him?" Raven asked Erlinda, holding back her tears.

"As he were my own," the older woman replied. "What is his name?"

Raven thought for a moment then she shook her head.

"I couldn't bear to give him one," she said with her eyes on the ground.

"That's okay," Erlinda assured her. "We will think of something."

As Raven wept in the taxi on the way to the airport, she told herself repeatedly that this was for the best.


	3. Chapter 3

Six long years passed before Raven set eyes on her son again. Even then it was through the tinted windows of a rented sedan parked across the street, for fear she might grab the boy and abscond with him. So, disheartened, she forced herself to stay in the car.

It was a hot day. A group of young children squealed with laughter as they chased each other around the front yard. An oscillating sprinkler had been set up in the middle of the scorched grass. The children took turns jumping through the cascade of water. They were all barefoot and minimally clad.

Raven's eyes were fixed on a skinny, dark-skinned child with a long slender tail trailing behind him. He had wet shoulder-length black hair falling in his smiling face. At first he appeared to be as black as pitch, but when he stepped into the sunlight, Raven could see that his skin was a rich navy blue, a shade or two darker than her own. She noted he lacked her glimmering scales.

Raven had a strong urge to get out of the car and run to the boy. She longed to scoop him up in her arms and take him away with her. She imagined the warmth of his skin against hers and and the softness of his hair as she brushed it back from his little face.

 _He has to stay here, where he's safe. At least until the war is over._ She told herself, gripping the steering wheel so hard her forearms ached. _When the world is safe, we can be together._

But it seemed like the war would never end and allies were few and far between. Her comrades had all parted ways due to differences of opinions or worse.

Azazel had been among the first to go. He and Angel were captured in battle and presumed dead. Bolivar Trask had likely cut them into tiny pieces looking to harness the source of their seemingly magical powers. It was a shame for one so powerful and old as Azazel to be reduced to bits of tissue on microscope slides and petri dishes.

Raven had mourned the loss of the enigmatic Russian mutant many years ago. He was a great fighter, that was true, and almost as good as a lover, but he was as ruthless in his personal life as he was in battle. He cared for no one and nothing except his own ideals.

If he hadn't been taken, he would have left of his own accord soon enough. Either that or Erik would have forced him out. The two had clashed right from the beginning. Sebastian Shaw's messianic nature had been enough to put the Russian teleporter in his place, but Erik was new to leadership and Azazel wasn't a follower by nature.

Raven tried to diffuse the tension between the two men, but that had only served to drive Erik away from her. Not that things had been going well between him and Raven anyway. Erik was much too invested in his fanatical pursuit of mutant justice to worry about Raven's needs.

Raven had turned to Azazel in a moment of weakness. He was more than willing to allow her to share his bed. The stoic mutant had seemed almost godlike to her naive eyes. For a time, she thought she might be in love with him, but she quickly realized that he regarded her as little more than a trophy. Azazel was more interested in her scaled blue skin and unnatural abilities than in anything she might say or think. His touch was a smoky volcanic heat, but his heart was as icy as his native Siberia.

After Azazel was gone, Raven wondered if it would have made any difference to him if he had known of their child. He would have relished in the creation of another mutant, of course, in having one more soldier on their side. But would he have loved his son? Would having a son have made him open and caring toward Raven? No, it wasn't in his nature.

Raven hoped, not for the first time, that her son hadn't inherited his father's disposition. She imagined him being sweet and soft-spoken, a sensitive child who worried over sick animals and shared his favorite toys. He would be nothing like the man who had sired him, who would kiss her while they made love but never after.

Seeing her child again made Raven's chest ache where her heart used to be. In a different life, she would have her son by her side. His tiny blue hand would fit snuggly in her's. He wouldn't grow up thinking he was abandoned and unwanted. There would be bedtime stories and favorite stuffed toys. They would have silly games and whispered secrets between the two of them know.

That was another life, though. There wouldn't be any happy endings for Raven Darkhölme.


	4. Chapter 4

The house was gone. Razed to the ground. It didn't look like the fire department made much of an effort to put out the blaze. Why would they? It's not as if there were any people living there, only mutant freaks.

"Better to let the whole thing burn down, than waste the resources trying to save mutant trash," a neighbor had told the news reporter who had been dispatched to cover the incident. She smoked a cigarette while she talked. "Those things had no right being here with decent folks. What would the children think?"

The reports disagreed on whether arson or faulty wiring was to blame, but regardless, the outcome was the same. The mutant orphanage was gone, the occupants had either burned with the house or been placed in foster care. No names or photos were used.

Not long after that, Raven started hearing a whispering of an underground gladiator-style fighting club in Germany. The German slang for the club didn't have a direct translation into English but it roughly translated to "cock fight." This was a place where one could bet on which poor mutant would kill his opponent. The only rule was that the fighters couldn't leave the cage nor receive outside help.

Raven had already had it in her mind to infiltrate this club and shut it down before, but when she heard rumours of a particular fighter that caught her instant attention. He was young, still a teenager, not that age was an issue in the case. He was said to be a blue-skinned demon who could dissapear and reappear in a puff smoke.

Pale skin, blonde hair, blue eyes and a pretty face were enough to grant Raven access into this exclusive club. A plunging neckline didn't hurt either. There were no shortage of men who would desire such arm candy.

 _As lo_ _ng as you have a pretty face and perky tits they assume you don't have a brain in your head._ Raven thought sardonically. _If they only knew._

The fight was about to start. Raven weaved her way toward the grotesque metal cage in the middle of the warehouse that served as the host for the fight. The reigning champion, still glistening with sweat from his last bout, stalked around the ring. He taunted the crowd, flapping his angelic wings as they jeered at him.

As the emcee was announcing the next contender, a large wooden chest was brought into the center of the cage. It's chains were removed and The Incredible Nightcrawler was unceremoniously dumped onto the blood-stained floor. He got to his feet as quickly as he could, seeming to get tangled in his own gangly limbs and tail.

Raven's heart leapt into her throat when her gaze locked on her son's wide yellow eyes for the first time in nearly ten years.

Nightcrawler disappeared with a _POOF!_ , narrowly escaping a strike from his opponent's talon. He reappeared a moment later hanging a few yards up on the side of the cage. Almost immediately there was a _ZAP!_ With a shower of sparks from the electrified cage wall, Nightcrawler was thrown into the air. He _POOF!_ ed around the cage getting zapped before he came to rest crouched like a cat on a crossbar near the top of the cage.

The winged champion flew up to meet him. It was clear why these two had been set against one another. Their powers effectively cancelled each other out. If Nightcrawler had the fighting acumen of the other boy, it would have been a very interesting match. Unfortunately for the spectators, the challenger seemed more focused on escaping than fighting.

Raven didn't need to see the whole fight to know what the outcome would be. The winged mutant would easily win. If Nightcrawler survived the bout, he would be severely injured and, due to his unwillingness to fight, his handlers would retire him with a bullet to the temple.

There was only a single guard blocking the controls for the electrified fencing. Like the bouncers at the door, he was distracted by her looks and a suggestive hand on his shoulder. Raven dispatched him easily with a sudden elbow to the jaw. She ramped up the power in the hope of overloading the system.

When the power to the cage went out with a loud _SNAP!_ , both mutant fighters made their escape. The champion had a burned wing, but Nightcrawler seemed relatively unscathed.

Raven rushed to escort the young mutant safely out but as she reached him a man grabbed them both. There was _CRACK!_ and an odd squeezing feeling along with the smell of sulfur and the three of them were outside in an alley. Raven knocked the attacker out and took his face as her own while covering the conspicuous Nightcrawler with the man's coat.

In the confusion, Raven and Nightcrawler were able to slip away into the night. The taxi driver easily accepted Raven's money thankfully without looking too closely at her shrouded companion.

* * *

Raven's old fantasy of reconnecting with the child she'd given up didn't quite live up to the reality. The boy was sweet and gentle as she had wished, but at sixteen he wasn't in need of a mother to hold his hand and tell him bedtime stories. He wasn't a child anymore and no amount of fantasizing and hopeful wishing would bring back the lost years. Instead she opted to get him started on a new life.

Taking Nightcrawler to Caliban seemed the most expedient way of getting him somewhere safe. Raven had relied on Caliban for his skills many times in the past, both for herself and for others. He had a reputation for being able to discreetly find new homes and lives for mutants in danger, for the right price. If anyone could get the boy to safety, it was Caliban. Fate, it would seem, had other plans.

If there was one thing Caliban was good at—and he was good at a great many things—it was acquiring useful knowledge. Today's bit of information was about Raven's former ally, friend, and lover, Erik Lehnsherr. Caliban's information set Raven on a new mission, one that would bring her face to face with some old friends.

* * *

"It's good to see you, Raven," Charles Xavier greeted her warmly. "Welcome home."


End file.
